Sometimes I miss college days. In spite of all the dificulties, I still had the illusion that the future was full of oportunities. Now the oportunities seem to shrink more and more every day. A great part of life is about making decisions, tough decisions most part of it. Now and then we debate ourselves, fight against our fears and insecurities. Wether we let them win us or not is up to us. Our strengh in that moment to overcome ourselves and go for it or to settle down because we're too much afraid of what's next. I'm afraid I can not handle 'next'. I'm afraid to let down the ones who would put/have put their trust in me. My fear is to break down. My fear is not to have what it takes. To be not good enough. To let someone down. To let me down. To discover 'Ich bin nicht klug genug'.
How do I overcome this? How can I break the wall of comfort and put my heart unease again?
But I don't want to unlearn. I want to learn more.
I am a fool. I have always been a fool.
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